When it comes to loving another, one is presented with a ton of opportunities to walk through fear. This may sound crazy but I examine my thoughts and my feelings through two versions of myself; Little s and Big S. Little s is the 3d self, the work in progress that still responds to situations based on my past experiences and fear. Big S is the self I want to be; my aspiration. Big S responds to situations with love.
I guess the best way to explain them is to give you an example:
My love wants to go to school and follow her path to do what she knows she was meant to do. Little s’ response to this is if she goes to school she’ll meet new people, learn new things and won’t want to be with me anymore. Big S’ response to the same situation – I am so glad she wants to go to school and follow her path. I wonder what I can do to support her (I love Big S, just saying). You see fear and self centeredness from Little s and love and selflessness from Big S.
So in each and every situation I am faced with in my relationships I TRY to walk through the Little s fear and act on the Big S love. Walking through Little s’ fear sometimes means asking for help to have it removed, sharing the fear with another person (sometimes this helps me see how ridiculous the fear is) and then acting as if my only response was that of Big S’. I do this because I want to love unconditionally and that means supporting the person I love in what they feel is best for them; even if – OMG I can’t believe I am going to write this down, even if it means supporting them in leaving me.
If we aren’t willing to walk through fear to show our true selves to our loved ones or we aren’t willing to walk through the fear to support them in their path, our relationships will either carry on based in fear or they will die. Either way – the fear of losing our love manifests.
So , I will continue to walk through the Little s fear and respond with Big S love. Try it – I bet you will begin to witness both yourself and your partner grow and you will begin to enjoy life in a whole new vulnerable way – a rich way!