Dammit – I am not perfect!

I totally messed up something at work and yesterday I caught it.  I was sitting at my desk freaking out about it and I decided that I just had to own it and email my boss about it.  I sat at my desk trying to think of a good excuse to include in the email so she would see it wasn’t my fault. BS – It was my fault! Ok – so just it was my fault but I didn’t want my boss to find out I wasn’t perfect! I held my breath and just sent the email – no excuses attached.

 I was really concerned last night and this morning about what my bosses response was going to be. I just asked for help from spirit and trusted that what will be will be – I am better off just being honest instead of trying to cover it up.  Anyway – what could be so bad about her finding out I am not perfect!!! OMG – that could be bad!!!! LOL its crazy how I think sometimes – fear that I am not good enough and willing to lie or try to hide a mistake so my boss can believe that I am perfect! I bet she didn’t even think that before my mistake – but you know if I am not perfect it will ALL go to hell in a hand basket. I will lose my job and die homeless and alone – I’ve mentioned that before.

I don’t know why we sometimes have such difficulty admitting the obvious – We ARE human!!!! Gosh, I hate that! Ok – actually, I kind of love it. A friend of mine always says that she loves humanness. I think I am starting to. I know that really whether I am perfect or not at my job, my thoughts, and my actions its ok – I am ok, I will be ok and I like myself.  Today I like that I can walk through my fear of not being perfect and actually letting people know that by admitting I am wrong or made a mistake. I have also learned over the years that not many people respond positively to people who can’t admit they have faults… I just want you all to know I am full of faults – but a nice thing I like about myself is I am working on them – I am not perfect, I am a work in progress and I am ok with it.

My boss’s response was this – “OK, I am glad you caught it and thanks for letting me know” and then she wrote “thank you” when I sent her the fixed product. WHAT — thank gosh I didn’t spend all night awake in worry and fear and thank goodness I didn’t spend time hiding it or conjuring up an excuse. Simple and easy! Ok not so much-  fear bites! However,  walking through it does have its rewards.

Friends, today I will walk through the fear of admitting when I am wrong and try to correct my actions or behavior if necessary and I hope it makes others like yourselves feel more comfortable about it. We aren’t perfect but we are lovable just as we are.

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