Yikes – today I am in full I need to control – mode!!!! Grateful today that I know what that means – FEAR!!!!!! I am full of fear. Sometimes I go along through the day and even week with my spiritual self in full force. I am trusting and relying in my path and all that crosses it. Today – not so much.
This morning it was like “BOOM” and suddenly my eyes opened up to how vulnerable my heart is. Scary stuff my friends. The funny part is I know this and I have known and lived with this fear for so long – so why does my fear of lack of control feel like a new and sudden reality today? I don’t know – all I know is I can be going along trusting and relying and being authentic from the heart and suddenly something happens and I am so very aware of how fragile this 3d life is. I don’t necessarily see this as a bad thing because it reminds me that life in 3d is short and that all I have is today to love and I should do it to the fullest in this very moment.
What was particularly cool about my fear of not being able to control “all that is” today was I recognized it as it happened – ok within minutes of it happening and I was able to let it go. I still feel the reverberations or after shocks so to speak but I am able to move forward and smile at the recognition and use it to my advantage (love in this very moment).
I had an opportunity this morning to realize I had no legal standing in a situation to help someone (yes – if I hadn’t mentioned it previously – I am a lawyer) – so I think of such things sometimes even though they are not spiritual – to me at least. Anyway – I digress ! So let’s see where was I – ok – I realized I had no legal standing to protect someone this am and I was riddle with fear!!! Really – so I was 1) creating potential wreckage of the future – (nothing had happened to require this standing as of yet) and 2) I was fooling myself into thinking that even if I had legal standing that I could protect this person – FOOL ! I know truly – everything that happens happens for a reason -and usually the stuff I don’t want to happen happens to teach me something ! So really what control would I even have if I had legal standing – I would have a false sense of control and a false sense of security based on the power of me! If something were to happen to someone I love and I had the legal standing to do something about it – the something already happened – what good is the legal standing?
I have to trust and rely that all that is meant to be happens and all that happens is meant to be and little old me isn’t going to stop it or fix it and stammering around in a place of fear will not change the lives of those I love or my own it will only rob them and myself of the present! I love the present – I can live and love a thousand lifetimes in the here and now. Tonight sit back and really look into the eyes of someone you love for even a moment and I think you will understand what I mean. I look in my loves eyes and a thousand lifetimes come through to me – I won’t let fear take that away from me today.
Live in love my friends!