Sometimes things hurt and you just have to sit through them. Ick what a terrible thought or knowing but seriously it is the only way through. I listen to woman speak tonight about being the kind of mother my mother was and she spoke about how she hurt her children and herself. She shared how much pain she had knowing all that she had done and she shared about how she was trying to be a loving mother today. Yikes it ripped my heart out becaus my mom is dead and there is no chance for a repaired relationship or a normal loving relationship. However, while my heart was ripping in half over the sadness of the loss of my mother and the loss of any possibility of a healed relationship – I had Gratitude! Lots of it for a friend who is able to be so honest and share such hard feelings and show me that I can love and understand my mother and forgive her for the type of mom she was. Her sharing also helps me to understand that my mom suffered too; that she probably didn’t just run havok through my life guilt and pain free! She suffered too! I’m so grateful also that my friend shows such strength that walking through this sadness doesn’t seem so impossible because we do it together.
Walking through my pain and sadness today so I can have understanding and freedom to love with an open heart. Peace.