Hello Friends – Sorry but this blog will diverge just a touch from walking through fear to love – its simply about love and kindness. Yesterday I was having a really rough day – I was exhausted from not sleeping the night before, emotional and of course I decided to not eat real food just have three 100 calorie shakes for the day. Mind you my decision to eat, actually drink 300 calories for the day came on the heals of my body being pretty comfortable consuming a couple thousand calories a day. So talk about deprivation!!!!
Then the life lesson!!! Things didn’t go the way I planned and — I was ridiculously side swiped with disappointment and I was lost in WHY ME??? If you know anything about me – you probably realize I didn’t keep the gunk to myself– I spread it to my partner 🙂 ! She in a moment of brilliance and self preservation – told me she wasn’t going to take on my stuff and she would talk with me later. Impressive!! Her ability to have self-care – stopped me dead in my tracks – my train wreck tracks… Shit I did it – I succeeded in spreading something other than love — DANG – I was not happy about this because I believe my true mission in this life is to spread love. UGH ! Fail !!! Truth is I am human and I have to tell you I fail or fall short of perfection on spreading love 100% of the time each and every day! I don’t like that; but, if I am supposed to be spreading love then loving myself and my imperfection is part of the plan right! Ok – so I licked my wounds and regrouped and looked at my part in the complete life derailment – hahaha not really – these are simple problems.
Anyway, I had to sit with my discomfort and I am not a fan of that; so, I moped my way to the T and got on the train. I was standing on the train filled with remorse and wanted to cry from exhaustion, hunger and sadness that I hurt my partner’s feelings. Then suddenly, my world changed. A nice young man looked up from his seat and asked it I wanted his seat. WHAT ??? This kind of stuff is so powerful. I thanked him and said no but that I appreciated his kindness. This young man may have no clue how special I felt in that moment. He saw me and he extended a kindness. That simple gesture was all I needed to turn my day around – or – should I say my frown. I share this story because the depth at which his kind gesture touched my heart was surprisingly impressive!
That young man changed my entire mood – from feeling sad and down on myself to joy and love. I wish I had started my partner’s day out like that – perhaps my day wouldn’t have gone south so fast… but it was a lesson and a lesson is meant to be learned – next time – I hope I think of the young man and how my heart was lifted by him and choose to lift the heart of those around me instead of spread the dread.
Today I choose not to spread the dread but to take the risk to keep my heart open so I am capable of spreading love even when things don’t go the way I want them too. Choosing love feels so good! Try it 🙂