Busy Busy Busy

Are you kidding me – how can I get so busy that I don’t write my blog.  I stop the joy and the flow of love into my heart by getting too busy to do that which I feel called to do and that which I love – writing about my journey from fear into Love!!!!! OMG I love LOVE! Well, truth be told I do but sometimes I fear the heck out of love too.  Actually I should say I fear the love out of love, because as I have mentioned before I have come to know that the opposite of fear is love!

I have been busy and I can’t even think of what I have been up to. I guess a lot of processing my self stuff, relationships, spiritual journey and my new career – being a life coach.  I did a workshop a couple of weeks ago – my first and the plan was to ask my higher power – spirit to guide me and help me find a good balance between – psychology and spirituality to help empower others.  The workshop was on stopping the cycle of manifesting through fear.  I was amazed at how I just trusted all would go well and was for the most part without fear – UNTIL – I arrived at the location for my workshop and everyone was chatting and enjoying themselves –  I sat back and my little s mind when to work on me… they aren’t even mentioning the workshop they don’t want to have it – they would rather visit with each other. So I decided after that great session of mind reading,  just to sit back and enjoy the socializing.  Then an hour after I was supposed to start workshop someone said – hey, are you going to start the workshop and I said – oh you want to do it? and of course everyone was like yes….

So panic stricken and full of fear I decided to start the workshop – I forgot one fundamental thing – structure – I introduced myself (in depth) as I wanted everyone to know who I am and how I came to wanting to do such a workshop.  My plan was to ask each person to introduce themselves -with answers to 3 questions – what is your name, what is your favorite thing about yourself and why are you here for the workshop.  Nope I forgot and just said introduce yourselves… so of course everyone introduced themselves at length as I so nicely modeled for them.  The introductions took up all the time we had.  Everyone said how much fun they had and they really enjoyed getting to know people but – I didn’t do my workshop.  Feeling like a failure – despite enjoying the time – I decided my life was ruled by fear and I was fooling myself  into believing that I could do workshops and help anyone because I could barely help myself.

So what did I do you ask??? After crying and purging the fear and the pain of disappointment and feelings of failure. I processed the fear and forgave myself for not being perfect and I decided to trust that my HP (higher power / purpose) truly came through and what happened was what was supposed to happen.  Then I rescheduled another one – and I bet I won’t make the same mistake – I might make some mistakes and goodness knows I have fear of making some mistakes and fear of other’s opinions of me but I will walk through those and do what I trust I am suppose to do – spread love and help others do so too.

I am walking through fear into love and I am taking the risks I need to take to stay on my path and to share what I know to be true about fear, love and happiness.  Stay true to your path my friends – just because it is yours doesn’t mean its easy. Walk through the fear ! I will be there beside you walking through my own.

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